toxic/empathy - the story

Toxic/empathy started with the last poem in the book - the phoenix. I had written it about 8 months before I walked away from the third person I wrote about - my friend. The most interesting thing is that I wrote it about my mother and my ex-husband - and my friend assumed I had written it about him, defending that his actions were not trying to destroy me, that he wasn't being malicious, and he was sorry that he didn't see my hurt. Scary thing is, I had already cut him out of my life once before, yet he still didn't see or understand that some of his actions were horribly hurtful.

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A series of events that moulded my life, and the people involved in it, I had to work at healing myself, and to do so required a stark and honest delve into my past, the events that happened, and my own self-responsibility in those events.

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Someone I knew read a few of my works and commented 'you sound bitter'. It was an eye opening comment, because it wasn't written in bitterness nor in hate. More conversations happened and it was becoming clearer that most people would rather ignore the message you're giving and invalidate it as bitterness - because it makes them uncomfortable themselves. People would rather the monster stay in the box, hidden, and call you hateful then have the monster exposed. I don't blame them - I wish I could still believe the monsters aren't real.

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Others that have read some of the work, who have experienced similar events, have shown a great deal support - and for them, a feeling that they are not alone in their struggles. For those who read it, and find the poems resonate with their current lives - if you realise you have toxic in your life, reach out for support, reach out for knowledge. You are not alone.